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7 Harms to You of an Unforgiving Spirit
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”—Martin Luther King, Jr. Did you know that forgiveness is much like the money? You can choose to spend forgiveness freely and mercifully on others, or stow away forgiveness and only use it for yourself. We should work to foster generous spending habits when it comes to forgiveness. Why? A vengeful or unforgiving spirit may only worsen matters and can harm your health. Take the example of Betty. Betty refused to talk to her sister-in-law for over eight years because, as Betty says, “she did me an unbelievable and unforgivable hurt…
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The Golden Mean: How Irrational Are You? How to Manage Difficult Emotions
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”—Albert Ellis Cathy, a full-time caregiver to her husband of 44 years, felt like a victim. Cathy’s husband, a sixty-seven-year-old brittle diabetic, had suffered a mild stroke but had recovered and doing well. Lately, however, Cathy experienced stubborn resistance from her husband to everything she tried to do to manage his health regimen, the household chores, and money. Cathy felt frustrated and resentful and said: “I am waiting for things to get…
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Eight Myths and Truths About Family Caregivers
Indeed, you have heard this quote: “There are only four kinds of people in the world. Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.”—Rosalyn Carter How true. Jenny, who nursed her 29-year-old husband for 18 months before he died of a brain tumor, said: “At times I wished I could escape from the situation. But he needed me more than ever. At times I felt very alone.” Loneliness, sadness, fear, grief, anger, guilt, and worry are some emotions that often bubble up when caring for an ill loved one. One cannot overstate the challenge of caregiving.…
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How to Find Pure Joy in Your Family Caregiving Duties
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”—Rabindranath Tagore The above quote summarizes how I felt when caring for my dear loved one during his illness. Joy. So, imagine how I felt when reading the following comments posted to my Caregivers Hub Support Group: “Will we EVER get to spend time with anyone besides this old man? I’m thinking I will die before my 94-year-old father does. I need out of this! I have nothing left.” Priscilla “I’m in the same situation. I’m 74 and mother if 98. That generation is tough, and was not…
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Your Illustrious Gray Hair: A Crown of Beauty
“I love to see old women. I love wrinkles. I love gray hair.”—Alber Elbaz (Israeli fashion designer) Seven-year-old Erica jumped, skipped, twirled, and laughed as she stormed into her grandmother’s house. She had just returned from Disneyland with her mom, dad, and other grandparents, grandad Bill, and grandma Alice. “Did you have a good time?” her grandmother asked. “Yes!” exclaimed Erica. “What did you ride?” her grandmother wanted to know. “We rode Space Mountain, Mad Tea Party, California Screamin’, and a bunch of other things! But grandma Alice didn’t ride anything,” said Erica. “Well, why not?” asked her grandmother. “Because grandma Alice has gray hair!” squealed Erica. Yes, Erica thought…
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22 Ways You Can Use Mindfulness to Have Better Health Today, Tomorrow, and Into Your Future
Not long ago, I met a woman named Bea. Bea felt so negatively about her home situation and caring for her ill husband of 44 years that she admitted to despising her husband and being tempted to leave him to fend for himself. Thankfully, she never went through with it and decided to stay. But what was happening to Bea’s health and well-being in the meantime? Bea felt shattered and hopeless. Because Bea had prolonged feelings of helplessness, she was losing her self-confidence and feeling stressed. Bea also experienced headaches, stomachaches, and anxiousness. Bea felt sure she was approaching burnout as she had little energy and difficulty completing simple, everyday…
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A 10-Week Plan to Learning How to Relax
“We will be more successful in all endeavors if we can let go of the habit of running all the time and take little pauses to relax and re-center ourselves. And we’ll also have a lot more joy in living.” –Thigh Nhat Hanh Towers Watson, a leading global professional services company that helps organizations improve performance through competent people, risk, and financial management, revealed its latest “Health, Well-Being, and Productivity” survey. The survey showed that of those employers able to measure well-being, 86 percent thought that stress caused by excessive workload or extended hours was the most significant to health and well-being. Do You Agree? Consider these facts: Fact 1:…
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Unique Nutrition Needs for Women Ages 55+
“Good nutrition creates health in all areas of our existence. All parts are interconnected.”—T. Colin Campbell They say you are what you eat, right? Yet, our fast way of modern living often means grabbing whatever we can and stuffing it in our mouths to fight our immediate hunger pains. So, we grab a candy bar or bag of potato chips and rinse it down with a soft drink—or maybe a beer! Whoa! What just happened here?? Sweets and snacks have little to no nutritional value. Making the practice of eating “junk food” harms physical and mental health. And primarily upon the health and bodies of older women ages 55+. Women…
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How to Overcome an Inferiority Complex
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in yourself! If you think success, you will be successful. Apply to your problems such Bible text as ‘If you have faith…nothing shall be impossible for you.’”—Dr. Norman Vincent Peale (1889-1993) Are there parts of your self-concept with which you aren’t happy? Do you expect to be rejected by others? Do you evaluate your performance less favorably than others? Do you feel threatened by people you view as superior in some way? You might have an inferiority complex if you answered yes to these questions. Alfred Adler (1870-1937), psychologist and founder of the school of Individual Psychology, coined the term “inferiority complex,” which he described…
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Stop Worrying! How to Break Free and Find Peace in the Face of Life’s Uncertainties
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows. It empties today of its strength.”—Carrie Ten Boom Meet Rosemary: “My sixty-seven-year-old mother had a heart attack last month. Doctors said it was due to her smoking and high blood cholesterol levels. “However, I believe there were other contributing factors to my mother’s heart attack, such as not getting enough rest after Dad died, her poor eating habits—but particularly worry. “So, after my mother’s heart attack, I got a little parakeet and taught him to say, ‘Don’t worry, mommy. Be happy.’ I went on YouTube to watch a tutorial, and the process seemed to be working. “Anyone else who is out there…
