Celebrate Your Uniqueness! Break Free from Societal Expectations

“What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden and it’s not. And a lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.”—Emma Stone.

Are you a woman aged 55+?

Are you often expected to fulfill specific roles?

For example:

Older women might be expected to take on nurturing roles within the family.
While not universal, older women are often expected to take an active role in the lives of their grandchildren.
Older women may be expected to retire from their careers and focus on more leisurely activities.
There is an emphasis on senior women maintaining their health and fitness as they age.
Women in later years are often pressured to maintain their youthful appearance as they age.

But these norms and expectations do not resonate with you.

You want to break free from societal expectations and embrace your true self!

But how?

Judy’s Story:

“Well, it’s a new year, and I’m trying very hard to better myself and be a better caregiver this year.

“Throughout my caregiving years, I have lost myself. I want myself back.

“So, in the coming year, I plan to be proactive about my health and happiness.

“Don’t get me wrong—I love my partner, and I’m glad to care for him. But I must care for myself, too.

“I’ve finally realized that if I care for myself first, I’ll be a better caregiver to him and my child.

“But I also want to get back to dance skating.

“I’m 56 years old, and, believe it or not, I’ve participated in our community roller skating dance competitions for more than eight (8) years.

“And yes, I am the oldest skater in my group, but so what??

“I am agile, energetic, and enjoy freestyle skating.

“I love to dance on wheels and feel so carefree and joyful when I do so. My favorite thing to do these days is skate backward with a partner.

“What could be more fun than skating in rhythm with a stranger, holding their hand, while you spin in a circle!

“Does dance skating at my age make me unique?

“Perhaps.

“But throughout my caregiving years, I have lost myself. I want myself back.”

***** *****

Breaking free from societal expectations and embracing her true self could liberate Judy.

Are you feeling confined in some way?

Do you want to break free?

Follow these seven (7) steps if you desire to Break Free from Societal Expectations and embrace your true self:

Step 1: Self-Awareness

Understand yourself deeply. Reflect on your values, passions, strengths, weaknesses, and what truly brings you joy and fulfillment.

Here are some steps that you can take to cultivate self-awareness:

Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply being present in the moment, which can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.
Reflective Journaling: Set aside time regularly to journal your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Writing can help you process your emotions.
Seek Feedback: Ask trusted friends, family members, or colleagues for honest feedback about your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots. Your friends can provide valuable insights that you might not have considered.
Self-Reflection: Reflect on your values, beliefs, goals, and priorities. Consider how your actions align with these aspects of yourself, and identify areas where you may want to make changes.
Emotional Intelligence: Develop your emotional intelligence by learning to recognize and manage your emotions effectively. Pay attention to how you react in different situations and consider whether your responses serve you well.
Self-Examination: Challenge your assumptions, biases, and limiting beliefs. Be open to questioning yourself and exploring alternative perspectives.
Practice Empathy: Cultivate empathy towards yourself and others. Try to understand the thoughts, feelings, and motivations underlying your behavior and the behavior of those around you.
Patience and Persistence: Self-awareness is a lifelong process, so be patient with yourself.

Remember that gaining self-awareness is not about achieving perfection but understanding yourself more deeply and living authentically.

It is okay to make mistakes along the way; what matters is that you are willing to learn from them and continue moving forward.

Step 2: Challenge Beliefs

Question societal norms and expectations that do not resonate with you. Ask yourself why you hold certain beliefs and whether they align with your authentic self.

Here are some common societal expectations often placed on older women:

Appearance: There is often pressure on women to maintain a youthful appearance as they age, including expectations to dye their hair, use anti-aging products, and dress in a way that is considered youthful.
Family and Caregiving: Older women are often expected to take on caregiving roles for grandchildren, aging parents, or spouses. They might be expected to prioritize family responsibilities over personal pursuits. On a personal note, I was a 24/7 caregiver to my late husband and was grateful that I had the stamina, and I loved doing so.
Career and Work: Despite advances in gender equality, older women may still face discrimination in the workplace, with expectations that they should retire or take on less demanding roles as they age.
Role Models: Older women are sometimes expected to embody wisdom and maturity, serving as role models for younger generations through mentoring, volunteering, or community leadership roles.
Health and Fitness: Older women are frequently encouraged to maintain their health and fitness, often to an unrealistic degree. There can be pressure to maintain a certain weight, stay active, and eat healthily.
Grandmother Role: Older women are often expected to embrace the role of grandmother, which can involve spending time with grandchildren and participating in family activities.
Retirement: Older women are often expected to retire at a certain age, though this expectation is shifting as more women choose to work longer for financial stability or personal fulfillment.
Community Involvement: Older women may be expected to contribute to their communities through volunteer work, activism, or involvement in local organizations.

These expectations can be limiting and unfair, as they often fail to recognize the diversity of experiences and desires among older women.

Many women challenge these expectations and live authentically, regardless of societal pressures.

Step 3: Set Boundaries

Establish boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being.

Learn to say no to commitments or activities that do not align with your values or bring you joy.

Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being.

Here are a few tips to help you establish and maintain effective boundaries:

Know Your Limits: Understand your emotional, physical, and mental limits. Recognize when you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or uncomfortable.
Identify Your Needs: Reflect on what you need emotionally, physically, and mentally in various situations and relationships.
Communicate Clearly: Be direct and assertive when expressing your boundaries. Use “I” statements to communicate your needs without blaming or accusing others.
Be Firm: Stand firm in your boundaries, even if others try to push against them. Respectfully reinforce your boundaries if they are being ignored or violated.
Start Small: Begin with small boundaries and gradually move to more significant ones. Doing so can help build your confidence in setting and enforcing boundaries.
Practice Self-Awareness: Pay attention to how you feel in different situations and with different people. Notice when your boundaries are being crossed and why.
Be Consistent: Enforce your boundaries consistently. Inconsistency can confuse others and undermine your efforts to establish boundaries.
Set Consequences: Communicate consequences for violating your boundaries. Make sure these consequences are reasonable and enforceable.
Respect Others’ Boundaries: Just as you expect others to respect your boundaries, respect theirs. Understanding mutual boundaries fosters healthy relationships.

You want to be flexible and willing to adjust your boundaries as circumstances change or as you learn more about what works best for you.

Remember that setting boundaries is about honoring and respecting yourself, your needs, and your limits.

Setting boundaries is not about controlling others but creating healthy relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.

Step 4: Surround Yourself with Support

Seek out like-minded individuals who accept and celebrate you for who you are.

Cultivate relationships with people who encourage your authenticity and provide support when needed.

True Story:

I recall many years ago working as an Executive Assistant to a Vice President of a Fortune 500 company.

Someone on the team criticized me personally when disagreeing with my approach to an important project.

I asked the Vice President if he agreed with the criticism.

He said: “Rosa, I like you just the way you are. No need for you to change.”

Imagine!

“I like you just the way you are.”

I have treasured those words in my heart and reflected on them for many years when faced with personal assaults.

So, I say to you, dear reader, be yourself!

Do not let anyone—not anyone dissuade you in your personal choices and approaches to life as your authentic self.

Step 5: Take Small Steps

Breaking free from societal expectations is a gradual process.

Start by making small changes that align with your true self, whether pursuing a hobby, expressing your opinions, or setting boundaries in relationships.

Here are some steps you can take:

Self-reflection: Start by reflecting on your desires, values, and aspirations. Understand what you truly want in life, regardless of societal expectations.
Challenge stereotypes: Recognize and challenge stereotypes about older women. Whether in media, literature, or everyday conversations, question the assumptions and expectations placed on women as they age.
Embrace individuality: Celebrate your uniqueness and individuality. Embrace the aspects of yourself that make you different, and do not try to fit into a predefined mold.
Explore new interests: Try new things and explore activities that interest you. Whether learning a new skill, traveling, or pursuing a hobby, embrace opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment.
Reframe aging: Instead of viewing aging as a decline, view it as a new chapter filled with wisdom, experience, and opportunities for growth.
Be confident: Cultivate self-confidence and believe in your abilities. Trust yourself to make decisions that are right for you, regardless of what others think.
Lead by example: By living authentically and unapologetically, you can inspire other women to do the same. Be a role model for breaking free from societal expectations and embracing life on your terms.

Step 6: Practice Self-Compassion

Be gentle with yourself throughout this journey.

Embracing your authentic self can be challenging, and making mistakes along the way is okay.

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding.

Here are some steps you can take to practice self-compassion:

Mindfulness: Begin by being mindful of your thoughts and feelings. Notice when you are being hard on yourself or experiencing difficult emotions.
Acknowledge Your Humanity: Understand that suffering and imperfection are a part of the human experience. It is expected to make mistakes, feel sad, or struggle sometimes.
Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend going through a tough time. Speak to yourself in a gentle and supportive manner.
Practice Self-Forgiveness: Practice forgiving yourself when you make mistakes or things do not go as planned. And understand that making mistakes is a part of learning and growing.
Take Care of Your Needs: Pay attention to your physical, emotional, and mental needs. Make time for activities that nourish you, whether exercising, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in hobbies.
Practice Gratitude: Cultivate gratitude for the things you have, the people in your life, and the positive aspects of yourself. Gratitude can help you focus away from self-criticism.
Engage in Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, exercising regularly, and practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing.

Step 7: Embrace Imperfection

Remember that nobody is perfect, and embracing your authentic self does not mean having everything figured out.

Embrace the journey of self-discovery.

Here are three steps you can take:

Challenge Unrealistic Standards: Recognize and challenge societal or self-imposed standards of perfection, which often create unnecessary pressure and can be impossible to meet.
Focus on Strengths: Acknowledge your strengths and talents. Celebrate what you excel at rather than fixating on perceived flaws.
Shift Perspective: Instead of seeing imperfections as weaknesses, view them as unique traits that contribute to your individuality; what you perceive as flaws might be what makes you exciting and relatable to others.

Embracing imperfection is not about giving up on self-improvement but accepting yourself as a work in progress.

Embracing imperfection is finding beauty and strength in your uniqueness and living authentically.

Wrap-Up

Celebrating your uniqueness means embracing all aspects of yourself, both the parts you love and may struggle with.

Celebrating your uniqueness is about your individuality and is what makes you unique and worthy of celebration.

And Speak Your Truth!

Your voice is unique and valuable.

Yes, breaking free from societal assumptions and embracing your true self can be liberating!!

Now go out there and Celebrate Your Uniqueness today!!

Key Takeaways

Older women are often expected to fulfill specific roles.
There are seven (7) steps to breaking free from societal expectations and embracing your true self: practice self-awareness, challenge beliefs, set boundaries, surround yourself with support, take small steps, practice self-compassion, and embrace imperfection.
Celebrating your uniqueness is what makes you unique.
There is beauty and strength in older women’s uniqueness.
Breaking free from societal assumptions can be liberating and empowering for older women.

“Don’t follow the crowd, let the crowd follow you.”—Margaret Thatcher.