Sign that reads I Believe in Me
Emotional Wellness

How to Build Confidence in 7 Easy Steps

“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions … do your thing, and don’t care if they don’t like it.”—Tina Fey

Marsha’s story:

“I worked on my idea to start a relationship coaching business for months.

“I finally completed coaches training, awarded my credential, and had marketing ideas to attract clients.

“However, I started to have self-doubts. After all, I was a divorced mother of three children. Who was I to offer my services as a relationship coach?

“What if I fail?

“I lost my nerve and my confidence.”

What is confidence?Sign that reads I Believe in Me

The word “confidence” originates from the Latin word confidere, which means “to believe in yourself completely” or “to be sure of who you are.”

Much in line with the origin of the word, today’s experts think of confidence as a belief in oneself—the ability to meet life’s challenges and succeed, that one has value as a human being—and acting in a way that conveys that belief.

Confidence is not just about feeling good; it’s also about feeling aware of your strengths and weaknesses while having the courage to take risks, face challenges, and tackle new situations.

Confidence is about having assurance, feeling comfortable with who you are, and trusting your skills and knowledge.

Thus, confidence is a state of mind characterized by self-belief (or self-efficacy).

Confidence is a quality that can be developed and strengthened over time through experience, self-awareness, and positive reinforcement.

Do you need more confidence?

If so, this article will help you.

The seven steps to building confidence are:

  1. Identify your strengths.
  2. Set realistic goals.
  3. Face your fears.
  4. Positive self-talk.
  5. Improve body language.
  6. Learn from failure.
  7. Surround yourself with support.

Let’s get started!

Step 1: Identify Your Strengths

The first step to more confidence is to recognize what you’re good at.

List your strengths, skills, and accomplishments.

Acknowledging what you excel in can significantly boost confidence.

Tips to identify your strengths:

  1. Self-Reflection: Think about tasks or activities where you feel confident, motivated, and perform well. Consider situations where you’ve received compliments or praise.
  2. Feedback: Ask friends, family, colleagues, or mentors about what they perceive as your strengths. Sometimes others can provide valuable insights you might not have considered.
  3. Assessment Tools: Various tests and assessments available online (like StrengthsFinder, Myers-Briggs Type Indication, etc.) can help pinpoint your strengths.
  4. Keep a Journal: Note moments when you feel accomplished, satisfied, or particularly skilled. Over time, patterns might emerge, highlighting your strengths.
  5. Passions and Values: Your strengths often align with your passions and values. Think about what matters most to you and where you naturally excel within those areas.
  6. Learn from Experiences: Reflect on past experiences—successes and failures. What skills or qualities helped you succeed, or what did you learn from failures that demonstrate resilience or adaptability?

Step 2: Set Realistic Goals

Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Achieving these smaller goals will gradually build your confidence to tackle bigger ones.

Use the SMART method to set your goals:

S = Specificity: Define your goals clearly. The more specific you are, the easier to plan for it. For example, instead of saying, “I want to exercise more,” say, “I want to go for a 30-minute run three times a week.”

M = Measurable: Make sure your goals are measurable. You should be able to track your progress. If it’s not measurable, it’s hard to determine if you’re making progress or not.

A = Achievable: Your goal should be challenging but within reach. Consider your resources, time, and abilities. Setting a goal that’s too far-fetched might demotivate you if it feels impossible.

R = Relevant: Ensure your goal matters to you and aligns with your values, long-term objectives, or overall well-being. If it’s not relevant, you might lose motivation along the way.

T = Time-bound: Set a deadline for your goal, which adds urgency and helps in planning. It’s not just about what you want to achieve but when.

Step 3: Face Your Fears

Don’t avoid things that make you uncomfortable. Face your fears gradually. Each small step you take will contribute to your confidence.

Tips to face your fears:

  1. Identify your fears: Understand what exactly you’re afraid of. Sometimes, simply defining the fear can make it more manageable.
  2. Take it slow: Start with small steps. Break down the fear into manageable chunks and gradually expose yourself to them.
  3. Educate yourself: Learn more about your fear. Sometimes, understanding the root cause of learning more about it can reduce the fear’s intensity.
  4. Visualize success: Imagine yourself overcoming the fear. Visualization can be a powerful tool in building confidence.
  5. Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist. Having someone supportive by your side can make a huge difference.
  6. Practice relaxation techniques: Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness can help calm your mind when facing fear.
  7. Take action: Face your fear, even if it’s uncomfortable. The more you confront it, the more you’ll realize you can handle it.

Remember, it’s okay to take your time and progress at your own pace. Each step you take, no matter how small, is a step forward.

Step 4: Positive Self-talk

Monitor your inner dialogue. Replace self-critical thoughts with positive affirmations.

Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” try saying, “I’ll do my best and learn from it.”

Tips for positive self-talk:

  1. Awareness: Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Notice the tone and content of your thoughts. Are they positive, negative, or neutral?
  2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you catch negative self-talk, challenge it Ask yourself if there’s evidence to support these thoughts or if there’s a more positive perspective.
  3. Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend. Replace self-criticism with supportive words.
  4. Use Affirmations: Create positive affirmations or mantras that resonate with you. Repeat these regularly to reinforce positive thinking.
  5. Practice Gratitude: Shift your focus to what’s good in your life. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate your strengths and achievements.
  6. Visualize: Visualize success and positive outcomes, which can help boost confidence and motivation.
  7. Stay Realistic: While being positive is important, it’s also essential to stay realistic. Acknowledge challenges but focus on solutions.
  8. Talk Aloud: Sometimes, saying your thoughts aloud can make them more tangible and more easily addressed. It can be like having a conversation with yourself.
  9. Use Questions: Ask yourself constructive questions that lead to solutions rather than dwelling on problems. For example, “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I improve?”

Remember, self-talk takes practice. Start small and be patient with ourself as you work on cultivating a more positive and constructive inner dialogue.

Step 5: Improve Body Language

Standing tall, making eye contact, and having good posture can make you feel more confident. It also affects how others perceive you.

Tips to better body language:

  1. Maintain good posture: Stand or sit up straight. Keep your shoulders back and relaxed. Good posture exudes confidence and openness.
  2. Eye contact: Make natural, comfortable eye contact to convey interest and attentiveness. Avoid staring, but don’t look away too quickly.
  3. Gestures: Use natural and open gestures that complement your speech. Avoid excessive or rigid gestures, as they might appear unnatural or distracting.
  4. Facial expressions: Be mindful of your facial expressions. Smile genuinely when appropriate, and avoid frowning or scowling, which can convey negativity.
  5. Personal space: Respect other’s personal space and be aware of your own. Invading someone’s space can make them feel uncomfortable while standing too far away might seem distant.
  6. Mirroring and matching: Subtly mirror the body language of the person you’re interacting with. This creates a sense of rapport and connection.
  7. Confidence: Project confidence through your body language by avoiding fidgeting, crossing your arms, or slouching. Instead, use open and relaxed movements.
  8. Practice active listening: Show that you’re engaged in conversations by nodding, using facial expressions conveying understanding, and responding appropriately.
  9. Be genuine: Authenticity is crucial. Work on aligning your verbal and non-verbal communication to ensure your body language supports what you’re saying.

Remember, improving body language takes time and practice.

Start by focusing on one or two aspects at a time and until they become natural before moving on to others.

Additionally, observe confident and effective communicators to pick up on cues and gestures that work well.

Step 6: Learn from Failure

Don’t let failure discourage you. Instead, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Analyze what went wrong and use it as a lesson for future endeavors.

Tips on how to learn from failure:

  1. Shift your mindset: See failure as a learning opportunity rather than a setback. Embrace it as a chance to grow, improve, and gain valuable insights.
  2. Reflect on what happened: Take time to analyze the failure. What went wrong? What factors contributed to it? Understanding the root causes can help you avoid similar pitfalls in the future.
  3. Extract lessons learned: Identify specific lessons or takeaways from the experience, which might involve recognizing mistakes, understanding limitations, or discovering new approaches.
  4. Adapt and adjust: Use the lessons learned to adapt your strategies or approach. Apply these insights to future endeavors to increase your chances of success.
  5. Don’t be too hard on yourself: Failure is a natural part of learning and growth. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that everyone fails at some point. Use the experience to build resilience.
  6. Seek feedback: Talk to mentors, peers, or those involved to gain different perspectives. They might offer insights you hadn’t considered and provide feedback.
  7. Take calculated risks: Use what you’ve learned to take calculated risks in the future. Calculated risks involve thoughtful consideration of potential outcomes and mitigation strategies.
  8. Keep a growth mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth rather than seeing failure.
  9. Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Recognizing achievements along the way can help maintain motivation and momentum.

Remember, failure is often a necessary step on the path to success. It’s not about avoiding failure altogether but rather using it as a tool to propel yourself forward.

Step 7: Surround Yourself with Support

Spend time with supportive and positive people who uplift you.

Supportive friends, family, or mentors can provide encouragement.

Tips on where to find support:

  1. Support Groups: Joining groups or communities, in person or online, where people share similar struggles can provide immense support.
  2. Books and Resources: There are numerous self-help books, articles, podcasts, and online resources dedicated to boosting confidence and self-esteem.
  3. Mentorship or Coaching: Finding a mentor or coach can offer guidance, advice, and motivation, which can be invaluable in building self-confidence.
  4. Friends and Family: Trusted friends and family members can offer encouragement and support as you work on building self-confidence.
  5. Workshops and Courses: Participating in workshops or courses specifically designed to enhance self-confidence can be beneficial.
  6. Positive Affirmations and Self-Help Practices: Engaging in practices like meditation, mindfulness, and positive affirmations can reinforce confidence-building efforts.

Remember, building confidence is a journey.

It’s okay to have setbacks, but with persistence and practice, you can steadily improve your confidence level.

Being confident and believing in yourself is crucial to self-worth.

Key Takeaways

  1. Confidence is a state of mind characterized by belief in oneself, one’s abilities, and one’s judgment.
  2. Self-belief (or self-efficacy) is a person’s belief in their ability to achieve goals.
  3. To build confidence, follow the seven (7) easy steps in this article: (1) Identify your strengths, (2) Set realistic goals, (3) Face your fears, (4) Positive self-talk, (5) Improve body language, (6) Learn from failure, and (7) Surround yourself with support.
  4. Self-confidence is a quality that can be developed and strengthened over time through experience, self-awareness, and positive reinforcement.
  5. Building self-confidence is a journey that takes time and effort, but it’s absolutely possible.

Are you like Marsha, mentioned in the opening of this article?

Do you need more confidence?

Do you need to take the actions necessary to realize your big dreams?

Please follow the Seven (7) Easy Steps outlined in this article right now, today and build your confidence.

Do not wait!

Get started immediately!

Build your self-confidence!!

“Your success will be determined by your own self-confidence and fortitude.”—Michelle Obama, former First Lady.