“The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.”—Dalai Lama Someone has triggered you—hit your “hot buttons,” and now you feel all riled up that your heart rate speeds up, and your skin perspires. You experience anger, resentment, frustration, or other negative emotions. Before you know it, you find yourself off on an emotional rollercoaster. Ugh! Why can’t you be happy!? Is that so hard?? Good news! You can choose how to feel. Meet Lillian: “I have been taking care of Mom and Dad for nearly twelve years now. Six years have been 24/7 living with Mom and…

“I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don’t know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.” –Haruki Murakami In trying to decide on a new topic of interest to older (boomer) women (born 1946-1964), I found the National Association of Baby Boomer Women (NABBW) website (https://nabbw.com) that listed about 50 forums just for this cohort. I was curious and scrolled down and found “Domestic Violence.” This forum surprised me.…

“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.”—Henry David Thoreau I chatted with a dear friend the other day who had always been single, in her mid-sixties, about being alone. She had this to say: “I’ve led an active life with many friends. I have mentored many young women during my long 30-year career and even shared my experience with several men. “But because of my strong independent streak, I have never been in a long-term relationship with a guy since my late twenties. “Even now, after having had major hip surgery, while I find it difficult to do some stuff myself, I own my own home…

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstandings, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.”—Albert Schweitzer Meet Barbara: “Rant alert! As if caring for your loved ones through terminal illness or behavior issues isn’t bad enough—or even navigating systems that promise to offer help but are broken, at best. But what gets me is when your f*****g siblings can’t find any f*****g compassion or consideration to give you a f*****g chance to get back up on your feet after being knocked down time and time again for years—whether it be emotionally, physically, financially, or mentally. “My mum moved into residential care two weeks ago, and she…

“Becoming is better than being.”—Carol Dweck Mindset is a way of thinking. I watched Lisa Nichol’s show recently, and she had as her guest Shawn Stevenson, nutritionist, and bestselling author. I was so impressed with Shawn’s presentation that I was moved to write this article based on what he claims are our two most valuable assets: our mind (not our brain) and our health. The brain and the mind are not the same things. As discussed on researchgate.net, “The brain is an organ, but the mind isn’t. The brain is the physical place where the mind resides. “The mind is the manifestation of thought, perception, emotion, determination, memory, and imagination…

“Solitude is not the same as loneliness. Solitude is a solitary boat floating in a sea of possible companions.”—Robert Fulghum Carrie, a full-time caregiver to her ailing 70-year-old husband, felt lonely. She said: “I’ve been in a dark hole for quite a while. Sometimes, I believe everyone around me would be better off if I were dead. My friends can no longer visit; my few remaining relatives don’t seem to care. I often feel dead inside. “I can’t help it. I know I sound selfish, but I’ve spent more than twenty years with caregiving duties for one relative after another, and now my husband. When will it end? “I can’t…

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”—Stephen Covey In this age of technology, your employer, workmates, or clients might expect you to be available 24-7, making it difficult to achieve what is known as work-life balance or symmetry. Symmetry is a reasonable separation and prioritizing between your job and other aspects of life, such as family and pleasure. Meet Elizabeth: “Well, it’s a new year, and I’m going to try very hard to better myself and be a better wife, mother, and supervisor this year. Throughout my career, with its demands and juggling family responsibilities, I have lost myself. I want myself…

“There are only four kinds of people in the world. Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.”—Rosalyn Carter Meet Rita: “I am so f*****g stressed out and sick of my pathetic life. Sam is having a bad day, and I have been trying to get ahold of my son and daughter, but of course, no one answers my plea for help. I got his oxygen back up to ninety-seven. It was eighty this morning, and he was coherent. I really need a break—a few hours for just me, but that will never happen. This is…

“A rainbow is a prism that sends shards of multicolored light in various directions. It lifts our spirit and makes us think of what is possible. Hope is the same—a personal rainbow of the mind.”—Charles Richard Snyder What Is Hope? Hope is not merely an emotion. Hope does not mean having a pollyannish approach to situations in life. Oxford English Dictionary defines hope: as “a feeling of expectation and desire for something to happen.” But hope is also more than mere desire and better than mere expectation. Hope is directly related to our sense of possibilities. Hope is indispensable if you want to endure difficult circumstances without giving up or…

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”—Mahatma Gandhi Are you happy? Oxford English Dictionary defines happiness as: “feeling or showing pleasure; fortunate and convenient.” In line with this definition, other sources say happiness is an “emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment.” If you accept the above descriptions, what principles or qualities of life would you say characterize the way to find such happiness? What rules do happy people live by? How do happy people behave? Unlocking the Code Many people experience a measure of happiness when they reach a specific goal or obtain a new item,…